Just came back from Ipoh. Kind of hard to describe this feeling that i'm having now. Been having a week of spiritual crisis, and i don't know what will be coming next. I'm still holding on, still loving God, but my actions shows that i have no love for God at all. Hypocrite...
I'm considered to be very lucky: the fact that i was given the grace of God for me to believe in His existence. I was being pardoned: given a second chance to live life meaningfully. But i will always blow it... as a mere sinful human who will never be able understand the price and the consequences of living a sinful life.
This song is an
instrumental guitar piece by Steve Vai
. This song is cited as his greatest composition. The piece, which runs for six minutes, features some of the most complex and daunting guitar work ever performed. The song is a very spiritual and personal piece. According to some rumours he fasted, meditated and abstained from sex for 10 straight days in preparation for recording this song.
I don't know which religion and background is he from, but i can sense that he has such hunger for spirituality: from composing this song to performing it. Each stroke he plays is filled with such intense passion and emotion that it sometimes makes me break into tears.
I wish i can hear God again. My life is in such a mess that it's blocking God from working in my life.
"Lord i'm just a mere mortal. I cannot help myself or even do myself a little favor just to draw close to You. Lord my heart says i love You, but i'm not worthy to even mention or think of it because my body cannot stop sinning. Lord help me. Lord please bring me back."
