For the love of God

Just came back from Ipoh. Kind of hard to describe this feeling that i'm having now. Been having a week of spiritual crisis, and i don't know what will be coming next. I'm still holding on, still loving God, but my actions shows that i have no love for God at all. Hypocrite...

I'm considered to be very lucky: the fact that i was given the grace of God for me to believe in His existence. I was being pardoned: given a second chance to live life meaningfully. But i will always blow it... as a mere sinful human who will never be able understand the price and the consequences of living a sinful life.

This song is an instrumental guitar piece by Steve Vai. This song is cited as his greatest composition. The piece, which runs for six minutes, features some of the most complex and daunting guitar work ever performed. The song is a very spiritual and personal piece. According to some rumours he fasted, meditated and abstained from sex for 10 straight days in preparation for recording this song.

I don't know which religion and background is he from, but i can sense that he has such hunger for spirituality: from composing this song to performing it. Each stroke he plays is filled with such intense passion and emotion that it sometimes makes me break into tears.

I wish i can hear God again. My life is in such a mess that it's blocking God from working in my life.

"Lord i'm just a mere mortal. I cannot help myself or even do myself a little favor just to draw close to You. Lord my heart says i love You, but i'm not worthy to even mention or think of it because my body cannot stop sinning. Lord help me. Lord please bring me back."