Thursday, November 29, 2007

I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love
has passed me by
And all I know of love
is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it.

So I've made my mind up I must live
my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love.

There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for.

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my
only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can.

What lies in the future
is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune
as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that
I've been wrong
But for now this is my song.

And it's goodbye to love
I'll say goodbye to love


The Carpenters
1972

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Shopping for a NKJV Bible. Sigh... so busy this week. Maybe this Thursday evening after work. Looking for one with big clear printing (^^)

Monday, November 19, 2007

long time ago with gray hair
Found a permanent guitarist to secure the 2nd guitar position in Leash. A 21 year old Taiwanese studying in ICOM known as Raven. Met up with him to have a drink and discuss about the band stuff. Quite a nice guy and speaks beautiful mandarin. Cool looking and plays promising guitar. Goes to church too. Looking forward to this coming practice with him.
I'm no pastor, i'm no rocket scientist. I'm just a sinner begging for forgiveness from God.
takeaway rice box = cheap, convenient to use, hassle-free and easily disposable

i pity them because i understand how it feels to be one

It's sad to know that their nature is being created for this purpose

So next time be more gracious to lunchboxes while you are using them ok?

live fast, die young

My body radiator finally gave up. Physically and mentally exhausted. Ended up falling sick yesterday. I knew it was going to come. Been extremely busy for the last 2 weeks pushing myself to the max. Nearly doze off on the steering wheel while driving my way home. Visited the panel clinic after fetching 33 and went straight to bed until next day morning. I was so blur i set my alarm to 8 PM instead of AM and ended up late for work today. But is was also good in a way as i had ample time off for a good night's rest last night. hopefully will be able to recover soon by today.

Friday, November 16, 2007

image
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More nice pics from my beloved GTR2. Currently at round 4 placed at 3rd standing. Still a long season to go. Man the AIs are fast...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Me and my daddy
"He is the first man who appear in my life. He is my man, he is my everything.
I miss him so dearly.

I always love him more than I love my mom. He is always the one I respect, and never fight back every word he says. He seldom scolds me, seldom hits me.
He will always get me what I want, treat me like his little princess.
Although I always cry because I fight with my brother and my mom scolds me, but he will always be the one who cheer me up.
I always feel that my mom don’t like me, and the one who love me most is him.

There is once when I fight with my friends in the school, I cried, and I called him.
He come to my school straight away, and see how am I.
He came all the way, just to make me feel better.

Being the very forgetful me, I always forget to buy my things which I need.
When I remember, it will be at night already, and he will be sleeping.
I will stand beside his bed, walk up and down, up and down, and think of a way to wake him up. I am very afraid that he might get angry because he is sleeping.
But he will never get angry at me, and fetch me to buy my things.

I remember the day that my mom tell me he has cancer, a serious one.
I was just 11 at that time, what can I do to actually help him??
I couldn’t do anything for him. I see him suffer.
He gets so thin and weak, and I almost cry everyday.
He vomits every time he eats his medicine. I can see that he is really in a lot of pain.
He is send to the hospital, because he is unconscious.
When I reach the hospital, I heard him screaming when the doctor inject him, and I cry uncontrollably. I couldn’t see him suffer. I couldn’t take the pain anymore.
It is so hard for me. So hard..

I remember that night, I don’t know why there are so many relatives in my house.
I woke up, to see what is happening.
My dad is unconscious again, and stand beside him, holding his hand so tight.
I keep on calling him, but he didn’t respond. I don’t know whether he know I am there or not. I saw his tears flow from his eyes. I keep on calling him, but he didn’t look at me.

The next day when I woke up, I saw the furnitures is all moved away. I keep on asking what is happening, and no one answer me. And then my grandma told me that he is gone. My dad is gone. He is gone forever. I keep on crying and crying and crying non stop. I saw him lying down in the coffin, my heart really break.
I always feel that he will recover someday, but no.
I always blame the god, and blame him. Why must he leave me behind, why don’t he stay with us. But I know, he don’t have a choice.

I don’t dream of him that often, although I want to.
But I can never forget these two dreams. I remember in my dream, he came back to see us. But after a while, I saw him wearing his socks. I know that he want to go, he want to leave me again. I ask him, but he say no. I know he is lying. I beg him to stay, but he is gone. And when I woke up, I am crying like hell..

And the other one, just recently, in my dream, I saw someone who look alike like him. Almost the same. I ask him if he were my dad, he say no. I keep on asking and asking, and I stick to that uncle. I know I am being very silly. Actually, I always think that someday, I will sure meet someone who looks like him.

He is gone for 7 years now, exactly 7 years. The date I will never forget.
I still love him with all my heart. Daddy, you are the best.."


My heart broke as i was reading this post through somebody's blog. Brings us realize how gracious is God to be still preserving our love ones. Let us continue to pray for God have mercy on those who are still outside of his Kingdom.

Jesus wants me for a sun-beam

Jesus wants me for a sun beam
to shine for Him each day
In every way try to please Him
at home, at school, at play

A sun beam, a sun beam
Jesus wants me for a sun beam
A sun beam, a sun beam
I'll be a sun beam for Him

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Japanese Cuisine

Image:Breakfast at Tamahan Ryokan, Kyoto.jpg
Authentic Kaiseki breakfast. Nice?
open room door:

-switch on table lamp
-switch on christmas tree lights
-switch on bedside lamp
-set Media Player to Michael Buble's evening playlist
-take my evening shower
-calls it a day and goes to bed

working blues

Will be working over time until 7.00 pm for this month due to the new batch of Medical officers joining in and prolonged under manpower. As usual the HR department will never get things sorted out until the day itself and ended up in a big havoc. We have an exceeding amount of calls for this month due to all the doctors chasing for their accounts.

Want to imagine how my job feels like? Ever experienced forgetting to do your homework and rushing for it at the last minute when it is to be passed up? Now try to imagine doing that for 9 hours daily with users complaining at you on the phone and your team leader keeps screaming "QUEUE CALL! QUEUE CALL! CAN SOMEBODY PICK UP THE CALLS PLEASE?!". Average total number of calls daily: 900. Dropped calls: 70. Our service level agreement suffered heavily. I had 3 toilet breaks today, all requested and approved by TL to leave my desk.

There was a case where i received a call from a VVIP doctor who is totally furious regarding an unattended job request which includes a total of 20 doctors' accounts still pending on their first day of work. Imagine picking up people's rubbish. I was first scolded with foul language and was called to pass the line to the HR manager. Upon transferring i was asked regarding the issue and once they heard the name of the VVIP they knew they are going to die if i transfer the call and refused to allow me to transfer giving me lame excuses such as "No i'm not going to have the call transferred. You know you are not allowed to transfer user's call to id admin" where we are allowed to do so but only not allowed to give them the contact number. So in the end i was tied in between and the VVIP finally said:" HR so high class don't want to talk to me? Ok then, i'll guess i have no choice but to let Jude Law know about this issue (another freaking big shot)." Sensing something wrong i told user to hold on the line and consult my TL. He got the shock of his life to hear that it will involve Jude Law and quickly call me to transfer the case to him. It's really heartbreaking. Sometimes i wonder why should i take the blame for all the mess what wasn't my fault from the start. It's hard to believe i'm trading my self esteem for money, although i know its only a job.

Went back home after work and straight to bed without dinner.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Affection is pain

Friday, November 02, 2007

Women = Wierd

I'll leave you to figure out why